A union of Love or convenience? – be confident in your choices.
Yes Marriage is a right of passage in Turkey. The West in comparison promotes conflicting attitudes towards Marriage. It is unfashionable in Western Europe to get Married at a young age – Career is deemed more important, Marriage, a Mortgage and kids often come much later. Remember that many Turkish girls will stay virgins until they get married. Hence why in Turkey getting married at a young age is the norm. This also explains why Turkish boys especially are conversant in pillow talk. I’m certain that sometimes they are successful with Turkish girls, many will promise marriage to a girl in order to have sex before marriage. This may explain why romance is so rooted in Turkish Culture and perhaps why it is almost extinct in Western Europe.
Many Turkish men will wax lyrical those three words because to them it is the oldest trick in the book for bedding a girl. However frankly us Western girls don’t need I love you’s before we get into bed with a man – (why they haven’t cottoned onto this yet is beyond me!) we’ll do so because we want to, not because someone has said after five minutes that we are their everything.
I know that I would run a mile from any guy back home if after a week he said he loved me – frankly I would be thinking, easy tiger, slow down what are you? a friggin’ Stalker
So if your Turkish Boyfriend after a matter of weeks is talking marriage than quite frankly he probably is a Rogue. Adhere to the cardinal rule – If it seems to be good to be true – it probably is. Of course we all sucumb to the fairytale of ‘I love you’ – but c’mon if this is declared during the seven days that you are in Turkey then the love is pure fiction at this point. Lust, most definately but there’s nothing wrong with this, this is afterall the pre cursor to any great Love story. So let your relationship develop over time into something real. Of course there are many horror stories of women being duped by Turkish Visa Bandits but on the flip side there are also many happily ever afters. The most obvious piece of advice I can offer is to scrutinise your Turkish lover just as you would any other prospective husband.
A long engagement is of course recommended, or at least a relationship which has lasted more than six weeks. I waited nearly three years before making the step to marry my Turkish Boyfriend. Neither of us were sure of each other, which is fair enough but over time it became apparent that we were both comitted enough to get married.
It is vital that you meet the family and figure out just how ‘Traditional’ they are because these cultural elements, make no mistake will effect your relationship. And once you are 100% satisfied that all is hunky dory and you are confident in your choice to wed the turkish lover of your dreams, then comes the difficult part – actually getting married.
Getting Married to your Turkish Boyfriend – In Turkey (A marriage which is internationally legal)
- Go to your local registry office and book an appointment to get a Certificate of Non Impediment. Tell them that you are marrying a Turkish Citizen, in Turkey. You will need to have his full name, address, age and occupation the date that you intend to marry (the cert is valid for 90 days) and the location. You will also need to provide I.D a passport or Birth certificate plus proof of address. The Certificate of Non Impediment will cost you £20.00 and after 21 days it will be ready for you to pick up.
UK Documents you need to get married in Turkey
- Certificate of Non Impediment
- Birth Certificate
- Passport
- Proof of Address
Official Turkish Documents
- Official letter from (your nearest) British Consulate in Turkey, which you will recieve once they have validated your UK certificate of non impediment – this will cost you in the region of £50.00 but please check before you go. You will need your I.D and your Turkish finaces I.D also. Set aside a Day for this. It is likely the Consulate will not be local
- Medical Blood Tests – Offical documents (Both of You)
- Diesease: AIDS/All Hepatitis – Private laboratory (2 Hour wait – 100 Lira or Hospital upto 500 lira 3 day wait)
- Fertility: ‘Telesami’ – Free from the Local GP/Health center – 3 day wait
- He will also need his I.D card and Birth Certificate
- You and Him will need Passport size Photographs (one each)
Once you have all of these documents go the Local Government Office (Like our Council offices) ‘Beledesi’ and get your documents stamped and varified for a fee. Then take these stamped documents to the Registra and once she is satisfied all is present and correct you can finally get the date for your wedding. (This could be as long as 2 weeks later)
The Wedding Ceremony itself will be short and sweet and will be conducted in Turkish you will need two witnesses.
At the end you will recieve a Passport style document which is your Marriage certifcate – This is internationally recognized and will have your photographs at the front of the document. Along with information taken from both of Birth Certificates with extra pages to fill in the details of any children you may have in the future plus if one of you should die or get divorced theres space in there to record almost every eventuality.
Most families will want a Traditional Turkish Wedding – do this After you have got married offically!
Mashallah, Insallah (Wonderful, Hopefully) 